Exhausted is the New Black

NMT junior student Steve McGraw is setting the bar in fashion amongst fellow students in terms of fashion and style. With his wrinkled and stained t-shirt, tattered flannel pajama bottoms, and flip flops, McGraw radiates the persona of an exhausted student who is dedicated to the art.


“He always has dark circles under his eyes, and his breath constantly smells like stale coffee.” sophomore Wendy Baker told Stall Street. “It’s kind of attractive, honestly.”


‘‘The stubble is what does it for me.” said another junior student,  Santiago de España. “The constant five o’clock shadow commands respect.” de Santiago, who is in a design group with McGraw, said the leadership position was obvious within seconds of their first group meeting. “He just captures you with his cadaverous gaze. It’s a style that demands to be heard. He knows what he is doing.”


The trend is already spreading amongst the student body. Paydirt is receiving reports of students staying up unnecessarily late, despite being caught up in class work, to achieve the highly coveted burnt out, exhausted look that is spreading like wildfire.


“I’m honestly not sure what to think.” one professor told Paydirt. “On one hand they’re purposely over working themselves to get the look [staying up late to finish  homework and such] and that’s bringing up a lot of grades, but on the other hand they all look like they’ve been laying out on the highway for days. The constant smell of body odor isn’t doing anyone any favors either.”


The “exhausted” look is certainly picking up in popularity, both as a fashion statement and as a product of approaching midterms. Similar to Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, a wave of hardcore masochism has taken over today’s youth in a hail mary attempt to find belonging, purpose and eventual success. And if the professor is right about grades picking up, it looks like it’s working.


-Sam Burleigh

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